The connection between self-esteem and self-respect differs according to the opinions of individual psychologists and mental health experts. Some believe the two are linked, and building self-esteem leads to self-respect, especially in children. Other psychologists contend self-esteem and self-respect are not necessarily connected, particularly when high levels of self-esteem lead to self-absorption. They say self-respect comes from earning the respect of others through acting responsibly.
Esteem means to hold in high regard. When a person exhibits self-esteem, he or she typically feels valuable and worthy. This subjective evaluation of the self might cause a person to make good choices to protect the self from harm. Early concepts of self-esteem and self-respect linked the two under the premise that people with self-esteem accept and respect themselves, even when mistakes are made.
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These theories were not based on actual successes, but the belief that goals are attainable. Psychologist Abraham Maslow disputed this concept regarding self-respect. He contended respect from others permits a person to feel confident, independent, and masterful, all components of self-esteem. When a challenge is completed successfully, he believed, self-esteem and self-respect come from the recognition and appreciation of others. This need for outside approval decreases with age, when true self-respect develops, Maslow believed.
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From the 1960s through the 1990s, building self-esteem and self-respect was deemed critical to the performance of school children. The focus in many educational systems during that time included building self-esteem to improve grades and decrease the number of conflicts. Very little research supported these efforts, but later studies showed constantly feeding self-esteem did not impact grades and may have negative impacts.
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The focus began to shift when psychologists questioned the lack of accountability, self-control, and self-sacrifice concepts used in earlier child-rearing theories. They saw problems in children with inflated self-esteem who believed their desires were more important than the needs of others, and that they deserved special treatment. More recent studies link excessive self-esteem with bullying and violent behavior.
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Low self-esteem might also present problems for children and adults. These people might become depressed and feel insecure. They may lack confidence and internalize feelings of inadequacy. People with low self-esteem might see others as more valuable and become consumed by self-criticism and negative thinking. They may be unable to attain self-respect because of feelings of guilt or regret.