Miscarriage can be a deeply disturbing and personal event, and coping with it can be extremely difficult for any person involved. Some people experience fears about future pregnancies, sadness from the loss of a child, or even self-hatred from perceived inadequacies. While there is no right way to process an event like this, there are certain strategies that can help a parent find ways to move on.
Coping with miscarriage is all about being in tune with the feelings and body following such an incident. For mothers, the sadness of losing the fetus may be amplified by hormonal changes that take place after a miscarriage. The non-pregnant partner may be put in an uncomfortable position, and may not know what to do to both comfort the mother and acknowledge his or her own grief. Single mothers may not have anyone to turn to, and may therefore sink deeply into depression. One of the best strategies for coping with miscarriage is to establish a trusted and safe support network consisting of friends, family, or just a strengthened bond between partners.
Some people find that honoring the memory of the lost child provides significant relief from grief. Holding a small, private funeral may provide closure and a way to put the event to rest. This strategy works particularly well for those who experience miscarriage later in the pregnancy. A funeral honors the hopes, dreams, and love parents had for the child who was not yet born and allows parents to move on.
While many people find that they need to take time off from work to focus on coping with miscarriage, others prefer to stay busy. Even if the stress of work is avoided for a period of time, it is not a good idea to abstain completely from social interactions and other activities. Complete isolation can further depression when endured over long periods of time, and it may become more difficult to recover if strong social ties are not maintained.
Each person who experiences such a spontaneous abortion takes a different amount of time to heal. Some deal with the inevitability of the accident without much emotional investment. Others are fully consumed with grief. Finding people who share the level of grief being experienced can be therapeutic. Coping with miscarriage through appropriate support groups is often highly successful.
Many people are consoled not be grieving strategies but by facts. Knowing that miscarriage is extremely common and that it is almost never the fault of either parent can provide more relief from grief than any session with a therapist. While it may seem difficult in the immediate aftermath of a miscarriage, normalcy almost always resumes and plans for a family are rarely destroyed permanently. With time, the experience can become emotionally integrated and lived with for the rest of a person's life.
