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What Is Victim Playing?

Jacob Queen
Jacob Queen

Victim playing is a term used to describe behavior where people pretend to be victimized when they really haven’t been. Sometimes this is done intentionally in a premeditated way, and other people do it in an almost regressive way as a return to childhood behavior patterns. There are many reasons for victim playing, including an attempt to garner sympathy, divert guilt, or avoid responsibilities. In some cases, playing the victim can become a chronic pattern of behavior and it can potentially lead to various relationship problems or even cause people to fail in life-endeavors.

One of the most common motives for victim playing is moral justification. In some cases, people may do things that they know are actually wrong, and they may look for ways to justify those behaviors to themselves and the people around them. Playing the victim is one of many strategies commonly used in these situations. A person can claim victimization as a way to explain previous bad behaviors, suggesting that the behavior was simply a necessary evil in the face of all the difficulties the person was facing. In a case like this, the person claiming to be a victim is essentially saying, "It’s their fault, not mine," which allows the individual to more easily live with his behavior while also making outsiders sympathetic.

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Another common reason for victim playing is to avoid responsibilities. For example, if someone knows that there are important duties that need to be accomplished, he might claim that various outside forces are keeping him from fulfilling those duties. In other cases, people may even look for ways to completely displace responsibilities by suggesting various reasons they might be entitled to things that other people are not, and if this is handled in a certain way, it can also be seen as a form of victim playing. This sort of behavior can actually have very negative effects on the person acting out, because people often find ways to avoid very important life-improving steps, such as going to college or meeting new people.

Some people play the victim simply to manipulate other people or elicit a reactions of sympathy. In certain situations, there may even be a real reason for claiming to be victimized, but the person will overemphasize it and act in a way that’s specifically designed to manipulate people. In a case like this, even though there may be a real reason for feeling victimized, the exaggeration of feelings could be seen as a form of victim playing.

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