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What Are the Best Tips for Love Self-Help?

Article Details
  • Written By: Lauren Romano
  • Edited By: Heather Bailey
  • Last Modified Date: 20 October 2018
  • Copyright Protected:
    2003-2018
    Conjecture Corporation
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The most important tip for love self-help, whether it's pertaining to a relationship with oneself or a romantic one with someone else, is developing the ability to forgive. Critics can be detrimental to love, but responding in a positive manner can have a big impact. Appreciating the positives on a daily basis will keep relationships going strong. Love means being grateful for relationships as they are, but also being committed to maintaining them and encouraging their growth. Acknowledging feelings, whether they're personal or those of another, is demonstrating the importance of the relationship.

Although forgiveness is the best tip for love self-help, it can also be one of the most difficult to implement. Anger is toxic to anyone who feels it; it's even more so if the person harboring the emotion is also the one who it's directed at. Forgiveness can be one of the greatest acts of love, but it doesn't mean necessarily forgetting. Learning from mistakes allows for moving forward while helping to prevent similar problems in the future.

Critics can be harsh and can cause others to have a severe drop in self-confidence. Each person also has an inner critic that squashes self-love and positivity, but it's important to decide if the negative thoughts are legitimate or if they're just part of a negative mood. More often than not it's the latter, which means incorporating positive and reassuring thoughts in order to counteract the critiques.

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While dealing with other critics, putting the feelings out on paper, then destroying the letter without giving it to anyone is a non-confrontational way to allow the resentment and anger flow out and get replaced with confidence and self-love. Another option is to approach the critics and kindly yet firmly express how their harsh judgments aren't appreciated. There's always going to be someone with something negative to say. Learning how to develop a tougher skin while dealing with criticism is one of the most important love self-help tips that can result in a stronger sense of self-worth, appreciation and respect.

Appreciating the positives is one of the tips for love self-help that requires a significant time investment. Each day, write down one or two positive things into a journal about yourself or a romantic relationship. Write inspirational quotes onto index cards and place them where they're visible on a daily basis. It's also beneficial to take a few quiet moments each day to think about the positive aspects of the self-relationship as well as a romantic relationship.

After learning to appreciate the positives to help keep a relationship going, the next step is to be committed to maintaining its current state as well as continuing to improve it. Love isn't something that one can control, but the level of effort put into a relationship is what will help the love remain. Working to better relationships doesn't mean attempting to make everything perfect, it means being accepting of imperfections while understanding that there is always room for improvement.

Although feelings are subjective, there is a reason behind each one that a person has. Making the effort to understand inner feelings, as well as those of others, can foster a better awareness of the state of the relationship. For feelings directed inward, evaluate why they are there, then create a plan for how to properly deal with them. The feelings of some others may never be fully understood, but it's still necessary to make an effort. Putting in the time to try to understand demonstrates a love and respect for any relationship.

Love self-help is a process and won't happen overnight, but the rewards are usually worth it. It allows for learning how to foster love and positivity in all relationships by focusing on the inner good rather than on what's going wrong. Developing the ability to block out negative thoughts and opinions, and concentrating on what's actually real rather than what's an illusion, can improve the quality of almost any relationship.

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