Category: 

How Do I Fix a Relationship?

Article Details
  • Written By: Felicia Dye
  • Edited By: Heather Bailey
  • Last Modified Date: 15 April 2014
  • Copyright Protected:
    2003-2014
    Conjecture Corporation
  • Print this Article

It is normal for problems to arise when people interact with each other. Sometimes the situation may look like it is headed in a direction where recovery will not be possible. If it is a relationship that you value, you should try to save it from ruin. To fix a relationship, there are three essential tools you must have: the ability to listen, the ability to communicate, and the ability to compromise.

The exact method to fix a relationship depends on several factors, including the nature of your association with the other person, the amount of damage that has been done, and mutual desire for a solution. Despite these variables, there are some abilities that tend to always be necessary. For example, to fix a relationship, you need to eliminate the assumptions. You may think that another person knows how you feel or that you both think the same thing. Both of you are probably wrong, so the best thing to do is to eliminate the guesses and theories and to communicate.

Ad

It is very difficult to fix a relationship if you do not know what the problem is. You may be shocked to know that in many cases two people in a situation are actually focused on different issues. This is one major obstacle to finding a solution. This misunderstanding can be eliminated if you are willing to listen with an open mind. You do not need to agree, but you should be able to clearly understand someone else’s points and you should recognize that the feelings or thoughts you hear are valid for that individual.

Communication requires two people. Part of the problem may be that you have not clearly presented your issues. Do not make the mistake of thinking that multiple arguments suffice for clearly expressing your views. Arguments are commonly a counterproductive form of exchanging information. Instead of resorting to that, try to calmly and thoroughly explain your position.

Most people have a natural tendency to want to be right. You may not realize that this desire is so strong that it is making you an unreasonable participant in the relationship. Sometimes you may actually be right or your ideas may be the best, but being in a relationship requires you to accommodate others sometimes. Realize that everything cannot always be your way and that you need to be willing to compromise.

Ad

Discuss this Article

WaterHopper
Post 2

@dinoleash: Many women who are in abusive relationships feel the same way that your friend does. They are blamed for every problem and usually punished for it. Most women who are in these types of relationships feel as though they have done something wrong and should have to fix it. That is usually due to fear. They feel as though they must change themselves and accept that they are the problem.

I would suggest that your friend end the marriage. I know that is a lot easier said than done. Domestic violence is a big problem and many women are scared to tell anyone that they are being abused. Your friend definitely needs you by her side. There are many counseling services available for women in her situation. I’m sure she has low self-esteem, as well. Tell her that you will go with her for counseling so that she doesn’t have to go through the process alone.

DinoLeash
Post 1

One of my friend's is in an abusive relationship. They fight all the time and she gets blamed for it. She always feels as though she needs to fix things. How can I help her to understand that she shouldn't have to carry that burden?

Post your comments

Post Anonymously

Login

username
password
forgot password?

Register

username
password
confirm
email